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Archive for the ‘Crack-Ups’ Category

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

— Mark Twain

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Adulation and Sycophants

This must be the weirdest cabinet meeting in the history of the United States.

Now, children, let’s all be grateful to be here. Could each one of you all tell me why you love me, and why I am so great?

Let’s all pledge allegiance to the supreme leader of our glorious and successful country.

This makes me feel so great, so successful, so powerful.

Ahhh.

Who does this? If this had happened to me at junior high school I would have cracked up. Who subjects grown adults to peer pressure to say self-humiliating crap on national TV?

General Mattis did not look happy sitting there and going through this ridiculous procedure.

Children, all!

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Check out the tweet above. At 3:29am this morning, Trump apparently couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to attack somebody. So he came after himself.

First, he called his Executive Order, which was found unconstitutional by the courts twice, a Travel Ban. Calling it that was exactly one of the reasons why it was struck down. So he reaffirmed the arguments of the courts here.

Then he threw the Justice Department under the bus. These are people who work for him, and under him. He tells the Justice Department what to draft, and then they draft it, and then he signs it. So telling the Justice Department it “should have” done something is like telling himself he got it wrong, or he didn’t know what he was doing at the time.

Then he made himself look like a fool. He, not the Justice Department, was who signed the Executive Order that was found unconstitutional. He was the one that signed it. It was his order, not that of the Justice Department. Is he therefore saying that he wishes he had done something different?

How would you like to work for a boss who attacks and accuses you on a whim, whether you deserve any blame or not? How would you like to work for a boss who does one thing today, and then blames you for him doing it tomorrow? Clearly, this man is not thinking rationally, at 3:29am. How can he find anyone to work for him?

And that is our President of the United States.

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Como se dice ‘Cinco de Mayo’ en Español?

So what the heck is Cinco de Mayo about anyway? Americans often think that Cinco de Mayo is Mexico’s equivalent of the Fourth of July, its independence day. However, that is actually September 16, commemorating the Cry of Dolores that started the Mexican war for their independence from Spain. Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Battle of Puebla, which took place on May 5, 1862, where the Mexican Army scored an unexpected victory over the French forces.

I don’t know any actual Mexicans that care about Cinco de Mayo. Like Christmas, Halloween and Valentine’s Day in America, Cinco de Mayo has taken on its own life as a holiday, and it mostly celebrates Mexican-American culture. Those of us here in the Southwest love Cinco de Mayo. It’s an excuse to go out for tacos, margaritas and happy hour draft beer.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Although, in Trump’s America, can we still safely celebrate el Cinco de Mayo? Or do I risk getting my citizenship revoked if I am caught speaking Spanish?

Hola!

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[click for picture credit: Reddit]

I have recommended that people stop flying United. It’s not good for the morale. There are plenty of other airlines that beat their prices, not their customers.

But if you bought your tickets months or even weeks ago, and you can’t get a refund, I recommend that you bring a boxing helmet on board with you. Here is what it looks like on United flights these days.

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These men have held political rallies after they were democratically elected:

  • Mussolini
  • Hitler
  • Stalin
  • Castro
  • Berdimukhamedov (Turkmenistan 2007)
  • Kim Jong-in
  • Trump

I will leave it to you to draw your conclusions.

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Free Melania

Saw this on a parking lot in Hawaii.

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Fun in Germany

fun-in-germany

[click for photo credit]

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diabolical

[click for photo credit on Reddit]

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trump-rambling

— from Colin Taylor, Occupy Democrats

Obviously, our president cannot form a clear thought in answer to a question and communicate that thought. He an embarrassment to our nation every time he speaks.

On the good side, we’re going to see a lot of love. Okay?

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Beauregard

Should we trust a man with a middle name of Beauregard?

Makes me think too much of secessions.

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The Nutcracker Costume…

…will forever be used to define and caricature Conway.

nutcracker-costume

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uday-and-qusay

eric-and-donald

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