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Archive for the ‘Crack-Ups’ Category

Here is a comment from a reader of my post below titled Old Man Jealous of 16-Year-Old Girl below. The comment got my attention, so I thought I’d highlight it here since it probably would not surface enough just buried in the comments.

2 answers that have as much conjecture as your questions, you infer knowledge of a persons emotion state that you have never met. Simply put she has NO understanding of a complex concept as planetary ecosystems, 16 year olds are children for a reason (not developed). Anyone who go on international television scolding everyone deserves to have harshest treatment, don’t like it quit listening Grown Ups are present. I’m also reporting your post to the proper authorities due to the infatuation of minor children.

First it talks about a persons emotion state [sic] that I have never met. Which person? the Old Man or the Girl? How does the reader know I have never met the person?

Then it talks about the girl (she) and claims that she has NO understanding. How does the commenter know? Does he or she know the girl personally?

Then it talks about deserving the harshest treatment. Actually, I agree, if you talk with a huge megaphone, you need to expect loud opposition, but “harsh treatment” is probably not a good description of that.

However, none of those comments have anything to do with my marveling about (1) an old man being jealous, and (2) the president personally attacking a private citizen, a minor, of a foreign country.

I also wonder who are the proper authorities to report this post to? Concluding that I am infatuated with minor children (whatever that means) based on this post is strange.

Finally – I always get a kick out of people making claims, statements and even accusations under the name Anonymous. My words have my name attached to them. I stand for them. Now I tremble that the proper authorities might knock on my door to investigate my infatuation with minor children based on a report by Anonymous.

I wonder where my readers come from?

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It occurred to me that on March 30, 2019, I wrote a post titled Bring in the Clowns where I talked about the election in Ukraine and speculated that the front-runner in the Ukrainian election for president was a comedian – a comedian who is now world-famous as the president of Ukraine: Volodymyr Zelensky.

Made world-famous by the Trump impeachment scandal.

You might get a kick out of reading that post again. Link above.

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The traditional meal in Japan for Christmas is KFC – Kentucky Fried Chicken. And not just fried chicken, but the brand, KFC? How did that happen?

メリークリスマス

The above says me-rii-ku-ri-su-ma-su written in katakana, the Japanese alphabet used to spell foreign words.

me-rii-ku-ri-su-ma-su, when you say it out loud, means Merry Christmas.

Japan is a nation where only about 1% of the population is Christian. So Christmas, historically, was fairly meaningless. In the post-war years in Japan, everything western became fashionable, and the country imitated the west wherever it could.

The first Kentucky Fried Chicken store opened in Japan in 1970. Shortly after it opened, the manager, Takeshi Okawara, overheard a couple of foreigners in his store talk about how they missed having turkey for Christmas. KFC didn’t have turkey, but it had chicken. What’s the difference, right? So Okawara thought fried chicken would work just fine and began marketing his Party Barrel as a way to celebrate Christmas.

Within a few years, the Japanese corporate office for KFC started advertising クリスマス に わ ケンタキイ (Kentucky for Christmas) and a tradition was born. Japanese now think that everyone in the west eats KFC for Christmas. It is huge in Japan. One third of the annual sales of any KFC store is done during the Christmas season. 3.6 million Japanese families treat themselves to a KFC meal during the Christmas season. To get a Christmas dinner at KFC, you have to reserve it weeks in advance.

Okawara went on to become the CEO of KFC Japan in 1984 and ran the company through 2002. 

So, as this example proves, if you want to get rich and famous, start a tradition based on a religion.

I wonder what the two customers who mentioned they missed turkey for Christmas in that store in 1970 would think if they knew what they started by that innocuous remark? What if they had been Jewish instead and asked for Gefilte Fish?

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Can I Take You Out to Louch?

A new restaurant opened up in our neighborhood. It’s open for breakfast, louch and dinner.

I can’t wait to go and try it out.

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Our local San Diego Union has a weekly contest. We see a picture, and we are tasked to come up with the caption. Last week was the two snails below.

I usually draw a complete blank with those. I just don’t have that creative angle. But every week I see the responses, and I think they are hilarious.

Last week, Trisha entered, and promptly became a finalist.

Source: San Diego Union July 28, 2019 – click to enlarge

 

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Today I went for dinner at the Mikado Ryotei restaurant in Austin, Texas. When I went to the bathroom, it gave me pause.

I stood there, hesitated for a while, and then picked the correct one. I could tell because there were urinals inside.

Whew!

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Trisha is ready for entertainment. This is her control station on our couch.

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I walked to school a mile, in the snow, uphill, both ways.

And we also only had a rotary phone. But in our family, we didn’t get it until I was about 10 years old. Before that, if we had to make a phone call, we went to one of the few people in the village that had a phone and asked if we would use theirs. Obviously, you had to pretty much cut off one of your fingers before that happened.

Here are some American teenagers in 2019 who are asked to use a rotary phone:

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Lynne said she’d been on the phone one day last summer (also with her door open), “I heard the cat munching his catfood, and out of the corner of my eye saw a black and white shape at the dish… then thought, up-oh, the cat’s upstairs… I turned around to look and, of course, you guessed it, it was a skunk, the absolute nightmare scenario of living in the country. I slowly moved toward it, telling it to leave, please. It just looked me in the eye and, with its paw, scraped the cat’s dish closer to itself! I decided to do nothing and wait. Do you know how slowly skunks eat? Finally, when the skunk was finished, it calmly walked out the door.”

— The Pocket Lint Chronicles, Barbara Carlson, page 148

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This is a sight for my Southern Californian heart:

A couple of days ago I was in Albany. It was 3° F in the morning. Here is a picture of the parking lot at Panera. Zoom in and notice the shopping cart embedded on top of the snow hill.

Your snowplows at work.

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I have posted about this before, but now it just happened again, and I can’t help but crack up.

It’s open enrollment on my insurance plan, and after going through a number of online pages and verifying information, I had to SIGN. Mind you, the only option I got was to use my mouse and sign my name. This is the best I could do.

Want to forge my signature, anybody?

Somebody tell me, what good is this signature? It has absolutely NOTHING in it that identifies me and that I could later attest to that it is my signature.

NOTHING.

Ridiculous.

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This has got to be one of the coolest things anyone has ever done. On February 6, 2018, Musk shot his Tesla roadster convertible with a space suited dummy in the driver’s seat on a SpaceX Falcon Heavy rocket into an orbit around the sun. The car is now further away from the sun than Mars is. It will circle the sun for billions of years.

We’ll all be gone one day, but that car, and that dummy, will be like new, orbiting the sun.

The fact that a private individual can pull this off is fascinating to me.

Say what you will. Go SpaceX!

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Schrödinger’s Cupboard

[click for picture credit – reddit]

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Any president who doesn’t begin every day on his knees isn’t fit to be commander in chief of this nation.

— Ted Cruz, at the National Religious Liberties Conference in Iowa on June 22, 2018

I don’t know what Ted Cruz believes or how he starts his day.

I also don’t know what Trump does when he gets up in the morning.

I am not a gambling man, but I’d put a lot of money on a bet that Trump does not believe in God and he does not start his day on his knees.

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“Hey, he is the head of a country and I mean he is the strong head,” Mr. Trump told Fox News’ Steve Doocy on the White House lawn Friday. “Don’t let anyone think anything different. He speaks and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.”

— President Donald Trump

It is obvious that our president is impressed with dictators. I wonder who he thinks “my people” are. I hope the doesn’t think I am “his people.”

It is simple, Mr. President: All you have to do is arrest and execute a few of “your people” when they don’t sit up at attention when you speak, and you’ll quickly see changes.

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