What is it with the American South and sex? Why do Southern legislatures insist on watching what people do in their homes and bedrooms, and with their sexual partners?

Recently the Texas legislature passed a masturbation bill. According to the Tribune Herald:

One Texas lawmaker joyously announced after the passing of the measure, “this marks a milestone for the pro-life movement! We must protect the unborn any way we can; I’m very proud that my fellow legislators voted to protect life, even in its earliest stages!”

The new measure will go into effect on January 1, 2014 which will make many forms of male masturbation illegal. Exceptions include sperm donations, which now must only be performed at a designated hospital facility.

New rules will also require men to sign an agreement when obtaining prescription erectile dysfunction medication which indicates they will not use the medicine for any purposes other than sexual intercourse with a woman.

Amendments added to the bill also require a permit to obtain and possess male sexual toys which could be used to assist people in violating the new law.

Those found in violation of the new law could be sentenced up to two years in prison.

Apparently the thinking here is that male sperm has the potential for human life,  and therefore may not be wasted. Somebody talk me down, please. Can this be real? Do our legislators in Texas really have nothing better to do than to worry about male masturbation? Do we really want to put people in prison for masturbating?

Have none of the Texas male legislators ever masturbated before?

In Alabama, according to a blog post in The Guardian, we outlawed sex toys in 2009.

In the US, laws vary from state to state. In 2009, the supreme court of Alabama outlawed the sale of “any device designed … primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs” in an effort to target sales of masturbation machines.

What are these people afraid of? It’s enough that we imprison millions of people for possessing marijuana. Now we imprison them for having dildos?

Who thinks of things like that?

I can only think of religion as the motivating element.