Written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables is a story about a group of aging mercenaries called in to fight a bunch of South American bad guys. That’s all I remember about the movie itself.

How many stars does it take to get people to pay money to watch a really bad movie with an asinine plot, lots of gore, and completely unrealistic heroes and action scenes?

It takes a lot of them:

• Sylvester Stallone
• Mickey Rourke
• Jet Li
• Jason Statham
• Terry Crews
• Dolph Lundgren

and not to forget: A sitting governor of a U.S. State:

Arnold Schwarzenegger

putting in a cameo appearance, which is probably the highlight of the movie. It’s actually clever.

I saw this movie and I have forgotten it already. Don’t bother.

Rating: zero stars