I like to read Forbes Magazine enough to subscribe to it occasionally when I get a good offer, like $20 for a year. Then, when it comes time to renew, and they want normal pricing, I abandon them, only to be lured again a year or two later with another introduction. I am sure I have done this 15 times over the last 30 years. 

This time I subscribed and all of a sudden I get this cheap watch in the mail.

I am not a good  photographer, and I have no ambition to be one either, so this picture is the best I could do for a close-up. But you get the idea. It came with little piece of paper that gave instructions:

Analog Quartz Instructions:

Time Setting:

Pull crown out and turn in either direction to set correct time. Then push crown in and second hand will begin moving. Please note your watch is battery operated and should not be wound.

I followed the instructions. Of course, I am old enough to have had analog watches when I was a kid, so I knew intuitively how to set the time. I guess the iPod generation would not know what to do with the little crown.

But here is the kicker: I pulled the crown, and the whole thing came off. The little stem was broken off. After a cuss word, I tried to stick it back in and sure enough, it still worked to set the time.

Not only does the watch look cheap, with its imitation leather armband and the fake gold housing, it is so cheap that the crown comes out when you pull on it.

I don’t get it. What was Forbes thinking? Thumb through Forbes and it’s full of ads for Rolex watches and private jets and golf resorts in expensive locations. None of the people interested in those ads would ever wear such a watch. Why did they send it to me? What do they think I am going to do with it?

If I wore watches, I’d have a good one and I’d have no use for this trash. But I don’t even wear watches. Did I perhaps respond to a teaser that offered a “free watch” and they actually think I just took the magazine so I’d get the watch?

Somebody at Forbes hired some dufus for a marketing genius, and the guy is blowing millions of dollars on junk to mail to their subscribers. Not only is the stuff useless, it actually motivates the recipients to take pictures of it and post it in blogs.